英语幽默笑话小故事：帮我穿过这个骑士!
Once there were three blind mice who lived in a museum。 One evening after the museum had closed and it was very quiet， the first mouse crawled into a huge suit of armor。
有三只住在博物馆的瞎眼老鼠。有一天傍晚，图书馆已经关门了，四下寂静，第一只老鼠爬进了一套巨大的盔甲里。
Before he knew it， he was lost。
等醒悟过来的时候，他已经迷路了。
“Help!” he shouted to his friends，“Help me make it though the knight!”
“救命!”他向他的朋友们喊道，“帮我穿过这个骑士!”
英语幽默笑话小故事：考试不及格
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
妈妈:这次测试你为什么得这么低的分?
Kid: Because of absence.
孩子:因为缺考。
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
妈妈：你的意思是考试那天你没去?
Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
孩子:不是，是坐在我旁边的孩子没来。
英语幽默笑话小故事：中间战术(Midway Tactics)
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
英语幽默笑话小故事：A Half-price Ticket(半价票)
"How much is the movie ticket?"
“电影票多少钱一张?”
"Ten dollars, kid."
“10美元，孩子。”
"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye."
“我只有5美元。请让我进去吧，我只用一中眼睛看。”
英语幽默笑话小故事:迟到的原因
eacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
老 师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。